CTA Seat-Hog Horrorshow

Most CTA seat hogs only take up one extra seat. Standard seat-hog operating procedure entails sitting in the aisle seat of a bus or train and placing one's belongings in the window seat, thus prohibiting other passengers from sitting next to oneself. It's the in-transit homosapien's answer to pissing on a fire hydrant.

Every so often someone with a real passion for monopolizing public space will take up two extra seats, like so:

Yesterday, however, I saw seat hogging taken to a whole new level. This instance of seat hogging transcended itself to incorporate no less than three forms of CTA-specific antisocial behavior.

It's common for someone to hog an extra seat. And for parents to refuse to fold their strollers, which unnecessarily narrows the aisle. And for the Steven Statues of the world to stand at the rear of the bus, blocking access to the stairs. But not until Sunday had I seen all three of these elements combined to create a Voltron of CTA sociopathy.

A couple boarded the bus with a double-seat stroller. Mom and dad pushed the stroller all the way to the back stairs, where they decided to set up a seat-hog shop of horrors. All told, they managed to hog four extra seats on the lower level, in addition to completely blocking the back stairs.

Behold!

As egregious as this is, I can't help but feel impressed by the sheer audacity and fuck-youedness of the enterprise, like when Ron Burgundy returned home to discover that his dog had not only learned to open the refrigerator, but also eaten an entire wheel of cheese. 

I'm sure that being a parent in the city is stressful. Folding and unfolding strollers and hoisting kids in and out has got to be a hassle, especially if junior finally went to sleep just before you boarded. 

So last night, hours after the horrorshow, another dad -- let's call him Aware Dad -- got on the bus with a stroller. Aware Dad sat in one of the sideways seats near the front. Although he didn't fold the stroller, Aware Dad did pull the side of the thing hard against his knees, to minimize the amount of occupied aisle space. 

This wasn't ideal, as the stroller still took up 25 percent of available aisle space, but it was far better than than the 50 percent that parents with strollers typically take up -- and worlds away from the absolute arrogance of the horrorshow parents, who reached a new nadir of stroller incivility. 

Strollers should always be folded, but who knows what kind of day Aware Dad had. He could have been stressed out of his mind or hesitant to disturb his sleeping kid. Sometimes we need to cut people a little slack. But that slack-cutting works both ways. 

Aware Dad was willing to meet his fellow passengers halfway by pulling the stroller against his knees. He acknowledged our existence, which made all the difference. As for the horrorshow parents? The exited at Armitage and Clark, to keep their comprehensive disregard for other people rolling at the Lincoln Park Zoo.